My bandwidth? She’s low this week, my friends. So low in fact, that I texted my sister-in-law and then asked Google what I should write about and ended up here, a simple list.

We’re keepin’ it loose. Keepin’ it fun. A week’s departure from our regularly scheduled reflective essay will do us all a little good. Plus, Saturn moves into Aries today (it’s Saturday, I’m writing this early yay!!) and we have a New Moon on Monday today! I’m not an astrologer, go read

So, let’s look at some shit I’m happy to say I’ve dumped to make room for the next shiny chapter in my life to commence.

Things I No Longer Care About

1. Cellulite. My legs are covered in it and always have been. Call it genetics or too much beer, I don’t know and I don’t care. I spent so much of my life mortified and ashamed of my dimply thighs and you know the only humans who actually ever care(d) about it? Me and the people who hate their own. Let us heal. Who freaking cares?

2. Giving up on “my dreams”. It took awhile to fully decompress from the transition of chasing a dream for 20 years to settling into a happy life. But see the difference? Chasing vs being happy? One is exhausting, the other exhilarating. We’re allowed to change our minds at any time. It’s called evolution. Your dreams don’t always expand as big as you do and you might just realize that the version of you still holding onto that dream is actually a much littler version of who you’re becoming. It’s okay to grow up and fill your bigger self with all the new things you’re curious and excited about.

3. My diet. I’m 41 years old and I know the difference between an apple and a Cheeto. I feel empowered to make the choice on what to eat based on what I want to feel. Yeah, I want vanilla soft-serve with both strawberry and chocolate hard shell and some cornflake streusel once a week. I also want a beautiful salad with farmers market tomatoes, radishes and maybe some rotisserie chicken on top everyday. I actually cannot care anymore about rules and regulations, they’re tired and tacky and an insult to my intelligence.

4. Feeling the need to justify why I’m not having kids. We’re just not? Just. I don’t wanna? The end.

5. Listening to really bad and probably very embarrassing music. Sometimes I cry to that song from Twilight and drive around with goosebumps all over my body. SUE ME.

6. Being a “bad reader”. I really shot myself in the foot by reading upwards of 40 books in 2020. Since then, I’ve had a complex about being a bad reader which is hilarious considering I’ve added about 1000 people and activities to my calendar since the world left Lockdown four years ago. Go figure. **If I’m honest, I’m most worried about my tendency to scroll when I could be reading instead. It bothers me and I want to change it. I’d like to add “social media” to the list of things I no longer care about but I can’t because clearly I still do.**

7. Having a staunch opinion about everything. I know right from wrong, good from bad and believe every human should be afforded the right to live their lives as fully, truly, freely and prosperously as possible. Other than that, I have no idea how much protein you or I need to thrive.

8. Moving back home and all that implies. Turns out, no one gives a shit if you decide that the big cities you tried out weren’t for you. Living close to family in a place I have deep roots has felt more grounding than I could have ever imagined and I’m thriving here more than I did anywhere. As my mom used to tell me when I’d obsessively look in the mirror before getting out of the car to head into a store, “Nobody’s lookin’ at you!” It’s juvenile to base decisions for your Highest Self on the perceived opinions of others. No one cares about you that much. Sorry.

9. Being in credit card debt. What used to be a source of great shame, self doubt and belittlement has now been replaced with attention, education and a plan I’ve stuck to for three years. $12,000 paid off, still more to go and slowly but surely we inch closer to the finish line. I haven’t used a credit card in four years. 1

10. Worrying about whether I will finish what I start. First of all, I know I can finish what I start. I’ve been writing this Substack every week for nearly two years and it’s been the best proof of my own capacity for consistency ever. Secondly, I’m no longer afraid to give up what doesn’t resonate. If I start a project and realize a few months in that I hate it, I stop doing it. Easy as that. Who cares?

11. Figuring out ‘what the point of this is’. If it’s fun, feels good, isn’t hurting anyone and fills my life with happiness, I DON’T FUCKING CARE. This world needs as much joy as we can infuse it with and so I plan to keep doing my part to plug into mine and share it with as many of you as I can.

The end.

I hope you enjoyed today’s stray from the norm. What an actual blast it was to write. Please leave in the comments something you no longer care about, I’d love to laugh and reflect with you.

If you’re in America, may your holiday Monday treat you well and bring beautiful, sunny skies. I’m heading into FOUR back to back events starting next weekend and [have never been more thrilled declaring anything ever] so I’ll be taking the next few days to soak in as much chill as I can.

As always, thank you for being here, I’m forever grateful and sending you so much love. Talk to you next week!

Oh! And if you haven’t yet checked out my second Substack, How to Act in a Restaurant, Alan and I posted a new podcast segment last week that I think it’s incredibly fun.

Watch or listen here!

OKAY LOVE YOU BYE!!!!

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